Sunday, May 10, 2009

Domestic Abuse

You know the newly engaged couple that moved in next door? Or the sweet, kind family of three kids, a stay-at-home mom, and a hard-working dad? Does anything seem to be out of ordinary when reading these descriptions? You probably think, “Oh, I don’t see anything wrong with that..?” True. But let’s look at this closely.  

Domestic abuse is the emotional, physical, and spiritual abuse of a person in a relationship with another human being. This does not always have to be a husband and wife or a boyfriend and girlfriend. It can be between fathers and daughters or sons, mothers and their children, or a relative and another relative. Domestic abuse is common in intimate relationships, not technically physically, for example, a father and daughter. 

The to-be-married couple next door is the perfect example of love. Smiles on both their faces when you see them outside, holding hands when they are walking to the corner store, or even hearing an “I love you” across the driveway before the guy leaves for work. Zoom in and fast forward towards night time. The woman is alone in her bed waiting for her fiance to come home from work. You see tears, feel the sorrow, and hear her screaming thoughts. She’s been abused. By her own fiance. It may sound shocking to you reading this, but it’s happened. 

What about the family of three kids, a wonderful house-mom and a diligent working father? Sounds too good to be true right? It could be. In fact, it just might be. Two of the kids playing outside with the bouncy ball don’t seem to notice their brother sulking in the corner of the lawn, screaming inside. They don’t notice the bruises on his arms or the black and blue of his eye. Yet, we see the mother. Hanging the laundry on the clothesline outside blatantly ignoring her son in the corner. Does she know? Possibly. Does she do something about it? Who knows. Meanwhile, the boy is tearing his brains out thinking, “Why does this have to happen to me? Out of all the people in the house, it happens to me?” Don’t you feel sympathetic towards him? I know I would. The father pulls in the driveway and kisses his wife hello, his two children with the ball with a piece of candy, and nothing to his son. Does anybody care? No, not really. 

What I’m trying to say is that even though from the outside things may LOOK perfect, what if they’re not? You wouldn’t be able to really know because you’re not in the privacy of the homes. But what if you did know? Ask yourself that question. What would I do to prevent this from happening? I’m not saying all households are like this. But there are cases of domestic abuse in a home where no one has seem to detect it from the outside. 

A group of friends of mine started a stance against domestic abuse in their school, Queen of Peace High School. They made goodie bags with candy and “Break the Domestic Abuse Silence” bands to pass out to the students of the school. It was inspirational and it showed how people can actually do something to make people more aware. 

What would you do? 

-Erika

7 comments:

  1. This is an awesome post. It makes me question a lot of people and if they're truly happy. Every person should be able to go back to a safe home with people that love them. That’s what a home is really about. No one should be scared to go back to his/her house and fear that his/her alcoholic father is going to punch him/her. It’s a scary thought and we all want to be able to look at a family and think that everything is okay. But sometimes it’s just the total opposite. Sometimes it’s so hard to get out of these situations too. For example, a mother who is being beat by her husband, has no job, but can’t leave him because he is the only sense of support she has to help her and her kids. Many people also put up this front to make everything seem like they have perfect lives but in reality, they're screaming for some help. I think this happens because the person doesn’t want to believe that his/her life is actually one of pain. Those who have experienced domestic abuse have to learn to be strong-willed and take a stand. Nice job erikaaaa!

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  2. Excellent use of statistical data and information with your blog. Keep up the good work.

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  3. This really spoke to me in many ways because it gets you to look at people in a different perspective. It gives signs of abuse in many different ways and shows that just because everything looks good on the outside does not mean it is good on the inside. Anything could be happening behind the closed doors and we as good humane people must be aware and know what to do to stop it. Good Postt

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  4. As a teacher this is a subject very close to my heart. It is very interesting to watch the children during play time role play. You can learn a lot about what goes on in their houses at that time. This is well written and this type of information needs to be put out there.

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  5. Wow erika this is an amazing post. I won't lie, probably one of the biggest fears someone could have going into a relationship is for them going into a domestic abuse relationship. Your blog defiantly explained domestic abuse in an in deph analysis. Great job!

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  6. Really good job erika! This is a really good post. It's true that domestic abuse doesn't have to be between a boyfriend and a girlfriend and it can be between family members as well. And you are absolutely right when you say that things may look perfect in someone else's life from where we're standing, but you never really know what they could actually be going through. I also like that you wrote speaking from different points of view, that really stood out. Good job!

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